That's right, forever.
I have had an interesting, difficult, confusing past three months. I still have no idea where God is leading me.
But in the meantime, while I wait and pray for His divine hand to comfort me as I feel like I'm being led into the wilderness, I am learning about grace.
Mostly, how to show grace to others.
I guess I wasn't always good at this, and I still sometimes need a kick in the pants on this topic. But a few weeks ago, I really got to put this into practice. I was incredibly hurt by a lie that came from someone I deeply cared about. And no matter how much this person was remorseful over having lied to me, every inch of me said, "Alicia, you can no longer trust them. You can't let them into your life anymore. Just forget about it. Just leave them. You can't let them in anymore - they will only hurt you in the end."
And let me tell you, I was so tempted to listen to that little voice.
And then, someone else slapped me in the face with the Gospel, and reminded me that "Alicia, you need to forgive. As Christians, we don't get the option of not forgiving."
Sure, sin hurts and the repercussions are incredibly damaging, but Jesus didn't say, "Forgive others unless they've really hurt you." He calls us to model Christ. He calls us to LIVE the Gospel.
So I lived the Gospel. I forgave. Through my pain, through the battle in my mind, I forgave and decided to move on. To move forward.
And since that decision, it has meant letting go of bitterness, choosing to not dwell or not think about the repentant sin. It has also meant never bringing it up again and never holding it over their head.
Because Jesus didn't die and then hold all our sins over our heads. He doesn't shove our sin in our faces and remind us of how we've failed. No. The devil does that. And I will not let the devil have any sort of foothold in any of my relationships.
Live out the Gospel. Practice grace.