A lot has happened in a year.
Someday, some day, I will write a nice long post (or perhaps a book) of how I was led in the wilderness last year by my loving Lord to learn how to stand on my own two feet in my faith walk, and not anyone else's. I will write a nice long post about the grace I found in that, and the strength that He gave me. I will write how I was a City not Forsaken, and how He did not forsake the work of His hands.
But today, my post is not about my trials last year. My post is not about what I learned, or how He carried me through. My post is not about the fears I experienced, the anxiety attacks, the loss of faith, the painful aching doubt. My post is not how He was glorified through it (and, like Job, do I even know how He was?).
My post now is about my wonderful new marriage.
About a month and a half ago, I married the most wonderful man I have ever met. I think back to the night before the wedding, the excitement. I think to the wedding day, waking up with butterflies in my stomach, sure I was going to not be able to make it through the whole day. I smile remembering the notes, the cards, the hugs, the prayers, from some of the most amazing people I have ever met. I think about that wonderful day - the great memories I have, our desire to honor Christ in all of it, and how every inch of that day was bathed in prayer, from minutes before walking down the aisle to praying during the reception as we snuck off into the vineyards and apple trees and came before God in prayer as the dancing started. Never have I gotten such an incredible response from people who don't even know Christ about how they saw Him in this day. And that was all we wanted. For those who didn't know Him to see Him, and for those who do know Him to remember Him all the more.
But even more so, since then I am learning what marriage truly is. It is not gushy and lovesick infatuation; marriage is not about cuddling and public displays of affections. It is not about taking vacations together and sleeping in the same bed. It's not even about sex. Everything I have mentioned can be parts of marriage, but now I am learning what marriage truly is about in such a tangible way.
Marriage is about grace. The gorgeous picture of Christ and His bride, the Church, is shown through the fact that my husband and I are both sinners. Although Christ has saved us, we still struggle in this fallen body, this sinful flesh, as we are being sanctified. We sin against each other more often than not, as we have had 20+ years of practice living for ourselves in a living-single mindset, and under two months of practice living for each other selflessly!
But each time we sin, we can look to the Cross, where our sins were forgiven. We can see the Son of God nailed to a tree, the most disgraceful disgusting way to be executed, cursed willingly in order that we may have a relationship with the Father. We can see this amazing display of love, mercy, and grace, and forgive each other. As we are forgiven, we can extend that to each other. And, what's more, we can pray for each other! What a privilege! And pray WITH each other! What a beautiful thing to be able to do... to show the image of Christ and the Church through grace, mercy, forgiveness.
I am not an expert. And more often than not, I sin against my husband. In fact, I will say I probably sin more than he does! I am selfish, I get angry, I am a sinner to the utmost degree. But my Savior, my sweet beautiful merciful Savior, He has saved me. He is making me new.
And marriage reminds me of this all the more.