So my OneWord for the year to focus on is grace. Grace has always been hard for me - hard to give to myself, hard to accept from Christ, and at times, hard for me to show to others... so I thought I would focus on that this year, and become a woman of grace.
I can tell you, that when I decided on this word, it didn't make it automatically easy for me to start practicing it.
There are times when I look at myself, still, and look at my sins that I struggle with, and wonder how I can say I love Christ when I do things that grieve Him so much. Things like getting frustrated or angry at circumstances and situations, things like not trusting Him in hard times, things like saying some rude comeback as a defense mechanism.. things that I don't like that I do, and instantly apologize and pray that the Spirit helps change in me. But that doesn't mean I don't look at my sin and wonder why the Lord hasn't changed me yet... wonder how I can say I love Him and still do these things.
But that's not grace. So this past week, whenever I show any of these sins I struggle with, I have been praying and thanking the Lord for His sacrifice. I have been focusing on the fact that He will bring His good work in me to completion. He's not going to leave me hanging.
My attitude of grace for others has changed as well. I used to just assume the worst of others towards me, because of things that have happened to me in the past. But now, instead of just looking at a certain word or action towards me that could be taken as hurtful, I look at it at face value. This helps me to not be bitter, either. This isn't really grace.. but it is growth. Grace would be that even if they ARE being hurtful, I forgive them as Christ forgave me. That's another process....
Praise the Lord that He has not forgotten me and will continue to work on me.